Never Alone
by StoryWeaver111
Summary: How Robert's confession should have gone down...


This is how Robert's confession about his sentence should have gone down...

"It was GBH...with intent. I could get life. That's not saying it's going to happen but…"

Roberts voice trailed off as Aaron continued to stare at him, letting their imaginations finish his sentence. The clock on the mantle ticked torturously loudly, and the seconds seemed to stretch as silence filled the room. Just when Robert thought he might go mad, a single word cracked between them from Aaron's lips.

"Why?"

He frowned, unsure of what Aaron was asking. "Because...they think I meant to …"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Aaron finally turned to face him, tears already spilling from his eyes. They were filled with agony; those beautiful pools of blue Robert loved so bloody much filled with unimaginable pain...because of him. Again. He sighed, biting his lip as he tried to find words to describe the pit of terror which had settled on him ever since the officer had dropped the bombshell. Terror that Aaron would be alone and scared. Terror that he'd take his pain out on himself, on his perfect skin, as he had done so many times. Terror that one day the pain might be too much, and he could...Robert put a block on his thoughts, forcing them to screech to a halt as he refused to travel further down that path.

He sighed and shook his head, staring around him as though searching for the answer in the discarded hoodie on the kitchen table, or the drawing Liv had finished of him and Aaron, watching TV entwined on the sofa. Drawing a blank, he threw himself into the chair opposite his husband, and put his head in his hands.

"How could I?" he finally summoned up the strength to look back into those eyes again, knowing he would drown but not being able to give a damn. He ran his hands over his chin, stubble surprising him. How long had it been since he shaved? A day, two maybe? The only thing that mattered was Aaron; caring for himself had long become an irrelevance. "How could I Aaron? How do I just drop that into conversation? 'Hey, how was your day? Pass the salt oh by the way I'm going down for life? Lovely coffee thanks so much!' How was I supposed to tell you I'd let you down yet again? That I'd wrecked us again after I promised not to? That everyone who told you to run away was right? That you're better without me…"

His voice was rising as he spoke, but tapered away at the end. His breath shuddered as he buried his face in his hands again.

"Don't you dare."

Robert looked up, exhaustion settling over him as he prepared himself for another fight. His husband looked furious, tears continuing to spill over as he raised his voice.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm better without you Robert. Don't you dare sit there beating yourself up, blaming yourself, thinking you're a monster because you're not. And don't you dare start giving up on us without even fighting."

Robert shook his head in disbelief. "How can you say that Aaron? This is all me… I messed up, yet again, and this time I'm paying for it. I've let you and Liv down…"

It was like a dam had burst, and it was all too much. Burying his face in his hands once more, he couldn't stop the sobs which racked his body as he imagined waking up every day without his beautiful husband snoring away beside him, stealing the duvet and expecting a coffee and a good morning kiss before he was anything approaching sociable. Never seeing Liv, her hair messy from sleep and a scowl as she remembered her chores, eating toast at the breakfast table, rolling her eyes at her brothers loved-up antics. No more Christmases spent drinking too much champagne before lunch, and collapsing on the sofa, Aaron in his arms, giggling over how crooked the Christmas tree looked from this angle. No more birthdays spend in bed, lazy Sunday lie-ins, surprise visits to the scrapyard and all the extras which followed. No more spontaneous kisses while he was busy cooking, feeling Aarons arms encircle him from behind and his breath hot on his ear as he told him exactly what he was getting for dessert. No more taking him to bed, laying him out and worshipping each and every inch of his body, never taking his eyes off Aaron's at the crucial moment, entwining their fingers in the moment of climax and whispering sweet "I love you's" into his skin…

To his shock, he felt strong arms wrap around him, and the sweet scent of his husband enveloped his body. Aaron's lips pressed against his hair as he held him, and despite his efforts, there was nothing Robert could do to stop himself clinging to his soulmate, sobbing in his arms as the reality finally kicked in. Aaron's arms were home; they always had been, and feeling them around him was all it took to break him. Time became meaningless as they say tangled together, Aaron pressing gentle kisses into Roberts hair, running his over his back, and making soothing noises. It felt like hours until he was able to catch his breath, the sounds becoming less violent, until he was finally quiet, sniffing occasionally as he leaned into Aarons strong body, unable to physically support himself.

"Why d'you think you always have to be the strong one?" He felt Aarons chest vibrate as he finally spoke, never letting go of Robert for a second. He stayed silent, just enjoying the feel of his husband pressed against him. "You've always been the same. You carry everyone else and just pretend that you're not falling apart. Just keep smiling and carrying on making sure everyone else is ok - making sure I'm ok."

Aaron gently moved his hand to under Roberts chin, tilting it upwards until he was forced to meet his gaze.

"Nobody ever asks if you're ok though do they? We all just assume...I'm sorry Robert."

Robert looked up, incredulous as he began to struggle "You've got nothing to…"

Aaron put his fingers on his husbands lips, gently silencing him as he continued. "I'm sorry. You must have been terrified keeping this to yourself. And all you did was try to protect me...you're an idiot. But you're my idiot, and listen to me." He moved his hand to cup Roberts face, gently stoking his cheek with his thumb as he started into his eyes. "You're my idiot, and we'll get through this. I promise. I don't know how, I can't tell you how I'll fix it but I will." He leaned in and kissed Roberts forehead, both men closing their eyes at the familiar sensation of love. Aaron tucked Robert back into his arms, and rested his chin on his blonde head. "No matter what happens, nobody even comes close remember?" Robert felt the corner of his mouth lift at the mention of a long-ago memory. "I'm your husband. I've got your back and we will. Get. Through. This." His voice was fierce now as he punctuated his words with kissed pressed into Roberts hair, pulling him closer as though terrified he was about to disappear. "Nobody's taking you away from me. You're mine and Livs now. You've been there for me without question, and now it's time I returned the favour. You're not on your own."

Despite his fighting, Robert found himself relaxing into Aarons arms, soothed by his steady voice and constant kisses. For the first time since he dropped that shovel, he didn't feel alone. No matter what happened, they had each other; he'd always known that. Whether they were actually physically together or not was irrelevant; Aaron was humming through his bloodstream with every heartbeat, pressed into the pores of his skin and in every contraction of the lungs which kept him inhaling and exhaling. He didn't have a choice when it came to loving him; since that first frenzied kiss, he'd been addicted to Aaron Dingle, and it was a vice he was willing to accept. They were part of each other, unquestionably, completely, irrevocably, and nothing as insignificant as a court could ever change that.

And he was here. Robert had told him the truth, and he was here. Holding him. Loving him. He hadn't sent him away, told him to leave and never come back, thrown him into the cold and withdrawn his love as a punishment. He was still here, and that alone seemed like a miracle. Maybe, just maybe there was a light in this tunnel, and it wasn't the train he has originally anticipated. With Aaron by his side, he could tackle anything - no matter how dark the night seemed, he would wake up, roll over and see his world lying beside him. One soul in two body, till death do they part.

And neither of them would ever, could ever be alone again.


End file.
